Okay, so here’s the thing. My allotment site doesn’t have a loo. Come to think of it it doesn’t have a shop or any other facilities, but the loo’s the main issue. On my old plot it was so bad I’d have to work loo breaks into the day, setting out twenty minutes before I actually needed a pee to allow time to get to the nearest public convenience.

So when getting a shed on my new plot, there was two things it had to have – an inside lock and some net curtains. The euphemism is ‘to use the mug’. The compost heap is nearby for discreet disposal.

So – oh, yes, I may be poncing around outside my shed in my land-girl clobber for Vintage Life magazine  for the day job but what I really use it for? Making (illegal) cups of tea and having a quick pee.

Hey…